I think I'm going to be sick...

Around two weeks ago, I received a letter saying that we didn't get everything in on time and that we have been denied for Medicaid. My heart sunk.

Since then, I have been calling pretty much daily. Doing the run around (press 1 for English, Press 4 for Medicaid, Press 15 million for an actual person who told you that you need someone else)... I have been able to leave messages for our case worker after going through the run around. MANY messages have been left. To what result? 2 new letters, no calls back.

Today I called in the morning and by some miracle, I actually got our case worker on the phone. I got to ask my many questions - we're talking 15 minute phone call of me talking and asking questions. I can feel my heart break, feel my eyes gather tears and resolve that I'll move forward and get through this, too - all while on the phone.

Jeremiah and I had decided that Robyn is living a normal life. That she is your normal everyday almost 2 year old girl. So, Disability Medicaid isn't really necessary. We haven't filled out that paperwork and we feel like she'll be okay. Now, it's our only hope to have $70,000+ in medical bills paid and make it NOT a pre-existing condition... My gut feeling is that it's not going to be approved because, honestly, I feel like she is your normal everyday almost 2 year old little girl. She's not living a disabled or abnormal life RIGHT NOW. She seems normal other than she spends a day or two at the doctor's office each month. That doesn't mean that someday in the future (like if we can't afford medicine or hospital visits or a heart transplant, if it comes to that) that she won't need Disability Medicaid.

We didn't want to 'take advantage of the system'. We didn't want ask for handouts that we didn't feel like we needed. And now, it's our only option that won't kill our family financially. I am all about paying back people. Payment plans are great! But when you are already struggling financially and on payment plans in every other aspect of your life, to be on payment plans for $70,000+ in addition to everything else? We would be in ruins.

So, I am moving forward. WE are moving forward. We will apply for Disability Medicaid. I will apply for every other financial assistance that Primary Children's Hospital has to offer. We will make it through this. We will survive...